http://abcnewspapers.com/2012/02/27/teen-dating-violence-cause-for-concern/
In lecture, teen dating violence was discussed in relation to teenage relationships. Interestingly enough, February was Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month; something I personally did not even know existed. Just as awareness of the “teen pregnancy phenomena” is becoming more prevalent, so is the problem of teen dating violence within these relationships that may or may not lead to teen pregnancy.
As discussed in lecture and the article, teens do not have a lot of relationship experience and do not always recognize the risk factors of teen dating violence. Some risk factors include being controlling, clingy, constantly wanting to know where you are and what you are doing, distancing you from your friends or family, emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, or being condescending. Being controlling or clingy could be mistaken for just being extra loving and caring. If teens do maybe recognize these signs, they may want to stay in the relationship for security, or because they see Hollywood couples and feel like they have to be in a relationship.
In my opinion, TDV is definitely a serious issue that is underplayed, and awareness definitely needs to be amplified. Teens in abusive relationships whether emotional or physical are planting seeds for future unhealthy relationships. Especially when they are not aware of the risk factors above and the consequences that comes about from staying in a violent relationship. Personally, I never thought of the different aspects of being controlling as dating violence necessarily. I always thought verbal and physical violence, but the different aspects of controlling a person vary in vast ways. Being condescending in everyday comments, critiquing dress, critiquing friends, not allowing one to spend time with anyone but them, etc. Although these actions all seem to be pretty obvious risks of a violent, unhealthy relationship; I can see how "first love" feelings can get in the way of rational thinking. Also at such young ages, the ability to think rationally probably is not as readily developed.
I think increasing teen dating violence, and dating violence in general would be a very beneficial thing. People need to be educated about s subjects, especially when my age group is generally victim to these types relationships and I too fall to not being aware of all the possible risk factors of violent relationships. I feel as though adults may look at youth relationships as immature and unrealistic, which may have some truth. However, that does not mean that teens are not violent and that violent relationships are not possible in teen dating. Making teens aware of dating violence is so important for their safety, self esteem, and duffer relationships. Whether it be a conference, school program, or simply a pamphlet, teens need some kind of education, which is why I definitely applaude the TDV Awareness Month and the efforts of the healthy relationship pledg in Boston discussed in the article.
I agree that violence is a very prevalent thing in young relationships. I know a lot of it is hard to pick out from just being caring. I think its sad that some are ok with some violence because that is how their parents were, or someone in their family told them it was ok to accept a certain amount of abuse. I've watched a lot of life time movies, probably not the best way to learn about but I think it has helped me to learn signs of violence. I find it sad that some teenagers are never spoken to about teenage violence in relationships. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, sometimes worse. Things that people say can stick with with one for a long time and effect how they act. These things need to be talked about so young teenagers are aware of the signs and understand that it is not ok for someone to be abusive whether with violence or verbally.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jordan's comment. Teen dating violence comes in many forms, and some forms of TDV actually seem very normal and even acceptable. For example, I remember in class I was thinking about how often my boyfriend and I exchange text messages or talk about what we like the other one to look like or act like. I think it would be very easy to from this kind of normal communication to having it become controlling or abusive, so it's hard to draw the line between what is and isn't acceptable.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think many young girls may even feel flattered that someone would act out violently or dramatically all in the name of "love". I think as teens grow older and more mature and gain experience in dating, they realize that there is a time when relationships can have problems, but there are times when the problems in the relationship go beyond what should be tolerated. For example, I think jealousy is a common, normal emotion that occurs in relationships, especially if the relationship is not fully developed. People become jealous at first just because they may not have complete trust in their partner, but that should eventually change and go away over time. Therefore, if a couple has been together for months without any infidelity, there is no reason for either partner to be acting controlling, dramatic or threatening regarding jealousy. However, I think this example can make it clear that most of the issues of TDV are not "wrong" themselves. They may be normal feelings or reactions, but eventually they cross a line. The problem is that it is difficult to determine when the line is crossed.